I confess:

I have never watched the Oscars and this year will be no different. We are going to see Ira Glass: Radio Stories, at The Barclay Theatre in Irvine on Sunday instead.

I don’t have anything against the Oscars, just struggle to find any interest in watching it, I guess. Between the two guys, Ira and Oscar, I would much rather spend the evening with Ira. Sorry little gold man…I think Ira would be a better listener, we girls LOVE that.

However, I did find these links that I thought were worthy of a look:

1) From the Soup: The Oscar Movie.

2) From McSweeney’s Lists: Other Things There Will Be, In Addition To Blood.

3) Jack Black, Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly singing at the Oscars: A Comedian At The Oscars.

4) The Los Angeles Times: The Envelope “Season of Upsets.”

5) Test your Oscar knowledge with this: Quiz.

Maybe I will TiVo the show, just to see if I am missing anything–then I will of course, let you know what I think…like ALWAYS.

1) From The Onion: Mean automakers dash nation’s hope for flying cars.

2) News Biscuit: Police to be armed with sarcasm, oh, and this one too Redundancy for man who lived each day as if it was his last.

3) From The Soup: iPhone.

4) Of Course, New Zealand’s folk parody band Flight of the Conchords: Sello Tape.

This week’s speech-centered pet peeve is when people say “supposebly” instead of “supposedly.” Please, don’t do that any more.

1) Darth Vader being a jerk: Now this Star Wars I WANT to see.

2) Only 80’s Retro Page.

3) Square Pegs: The quintessential 80’s teen TV show. This clip has Richard Blade and…and an explanation between Punk and New Wave…Devo…and…

4) Macintosh Commercial 1984

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYecfV3ubP8&rel=1&w=425&h=355]

5) From the very funny Evany Thomas for McSweeney’s List

’80s Lineups That Read Like Tabloid Headlines.

BY EVANY THOMAS

– – – –

Lords of the New Church Fear Afterlife

Starship Sparks Crowded House

Chicago, Boston, Berlin, Asia: Damned

The Waitresses Squeeze the Specials

Pet Shop Boys Fixx Stray Cats, Toto

Flock of Seagulls Jam the Tubes

Sisters of Mercy Cure Television

Scorpions Sting Tracey Ullman

Police Poison Loverboy Cult

The English Beat New Kids on the Block

Scandal, Madness, Germs

Yes, the Smiths Heart Everything But the Girl

Gene Loves Jezebel

1) Office Slang: Find out the meaning of “Alpha Geek” or “Beepilepsy,” my personal favorite.

2) Steve Job’s MacWorld Speech 2008: Steve Job’s 90 minute keynote speech in 60 seconds–just as good as the full version (maybe better).

3) Bobby Fischer Quotes: Some of the best, “Don’t even mention losing to me. I can’t stand to think of it” or “It’s just a matter of throwing in a few sacrifices, then checkmate!” Good-bye Bobby…

4) “I Was A Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids” : Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile have written a great little book about the joys of giving up trying to be the perfect mom and embracing your inner messy linen closet.

5)

Speech-centered Pet Peeve of the week? When people SAY “Oh, that’s hysterical” and don’t even bother trying to laugh– not even a smile. For those of you who do this please see definition of Hysterical, #6 here. Now stop saying it, unless its through tears of laughter.

1) Use one word from each column to create the perfect insult: Shakespear Insult Kit.

2) Tour some of the most tragic European Designs of the 1970’s: Eurobad ’74.

3) Another way to go…baby announcements by Rattle-N-Roll: Custom baby announcements.

4)As if you need more Product: Product Girl.

5) Which kitten is cuter? You decide at: Kitten War.

MY NEW FAVORITE THING ON THE INTERNET…Almost Twins: High-Five Hollywood. You have to watch this carefully for the Starbucks burn (Yeah! Coffee Bean!)

Five uses for those annoying magazine inserts that, no matter how thoroughly you think you have removed them, always seem to fall into your bath while reading.

-Use as coasters for guests you have absolutely no interest in impressing

-Picking up dead flies in the window sill

-Gather up hundreds (not hard to do) and send them to the Editor of your favorite magazine in protest, hoping they will send you free product as a good will gesture
(will not work if your favorite magazine is Foreign Affairs or the like. Sorry Larry)

-To write tardy notes on when your daughter is late for school

-Wet, pound into mush, mold into a pot shape, decoupage and plant your favorite perennial inside
(Martha Steward Living inserts only)