Friday Five (in two): Things My High School Boyfriend is Doing Now According To My Mom’s Predictions
These are the things my high school boyfriend is doing now according to what my mom thought he would do when he grew up. (There are only two.)
1.) Working at McDonald’s
2.) Disappointing his parents
I just called to say I love you and also something I will probably regret later
Five phone messages I suggest you NEVER leave your husband at work.
1) “Honey, did you take the kids with you to work this morning? Oh, never mind, here they are.”
2) “Me again, I know you said “no” to that Coach purse, but the gal at the purse counter at Nordstrom wants to talk to you about it. I’ll leave my phone with her. Give her a jingle when you can. I also gave her your cell number and your email. Hope it’s okay. Her name is Jen. She is like, such a sweetheart and…”
3) “Hey babe, my husband is going to San Francisco tomorrow and…wait…what number did I call?”…click
4) “Yeah, hi, call me back. I want to tell you something horrible I heard about your stinkn’, liar of a boss. Um, I’m not on speaker am I?”
5) “Hi, it’s me. **stammer**You know your 1967 Mustang that you loved…I mean love…**deep sigh**…loved? Call me back when you aren’t with people who are offended by cursing.”
Friday Five: Some Internet themed links…One Speech-Centered Pet Peeve
1) It is disturbing to me that MySpace has a “Browse” option.
3) My friend John sent me this stat for my blog, he works doing something related to the internet (no caps for me) and has access to this kind of information:
*highest ever rank was 3,383,853 (out of roughly 109 million ‘distinct’ websites)
*.000015% of the global online users have been to your blog (I really haven’t a clue what any of this means really. He says it’s “decent.”)
4) The webcomic (left) is by “XKCD: A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.” Check it out Here.
5) Watch Google Map Gone Terribly Wrong Video: Here.
The Speech-Centered Pet Peeve of the week is when someone (especially twenty-somethings) use the word “actually” right before they are going to give you bad news…”Actually, your table won’t be ready for another 1/2 hour”…..”Actually, we won’t get any more MacBook Air’s in until next month”…or just simply “Actually, no.” You get the idea, total abuse of the word actually. Stop it.
Friday Five: The Oscars are coming, but so is Ira Glass.
I have never watched the Oscars and this year will be no different. We are going to see Ira Glass: Radio Stories, at The Barclay Theatre in Irvine on Sunday instead.
I don’t have anything against the Oscars, just struggle to find any interest in watching it, I guess. Between the two guys, Ira and Oscar, I would much rather spend the evening with Ira. Sorry little gold man…I think Ira would be a better listener, we girls LOVE that.
However, I did find these links that I thought were worthy of a look:
Speech-centered Pet Peeve of the week? When people SAY “Oh, that’s hysterical” and don’t even bother trying to laugh– not even a smile. For those of you who do this please see definition of Hysterical, #6 here. Now stop saying it, unless its through tears of laughter.
MY NEW FAVORITE THING ON THE INTERNET…Almost Twins:High-Five Hollywood. You have to watch this carefully for the Starbucks burn (Yeah! Coffee Bean!)
Friday Five: Five Uses for Those Annoying Magazine Inserts
Five uses for those annoying magazine inserts that, no matter how thoroughly you think you have removed them, always seem to fall into your bath while reading.
-Use as coasters for guests you have absolutely no interest in impressing
-Picking up dead flies in the window sill
-Gather up hundreds (not hard to do) and send them to the Editor of your favorite magazine in protest, hoping they will send you free product as a good will gesture
(will not work if your favorite magazine is Foreign Affairs or the like. Sorry Larry)
-To write tardy notes on when your daughter is late for school
-Wet, pound into mush, mold into a pot shape, decoupage and plant your favorite perennial inside
(Martha Steward Living inserts only)