Only a parent of a teen knows the struggle. Yes, there have always been struggles between parents and their teens, but to say that we are pioneers of a new kind of parenting isn’t just our generation’s attempt to minimize the tough time parents of hippies or greasers or, I don’t know, Disney channel stars, have had to endure. We truly are parenting an entirely new kind of teen — the iGeneration teen. And it’s hard.

I wrote often about parenting this unique generation in my column at the OC Register and I will continue to write about them here on my blog. Heck, I’m even writing a book about them. Out of necessity — my husband and I have one teen now and three more waiting in the wings — I have a vested interested in learning everything I can about today’s teen.

Here are five things I have taught my teen to help her understand social media and its impact on her life, her future and others.

1.)  Be careful what you say, there is no sarcasm font.

Even though your teen may be “just be kidding” in a snarky text or comment or post, it’s important to teach teens that comedy can be taken the wrong way on social media.   A sarcastic comment can hurt feelings or get them in trouble if taken out of context. Since there isn’t a sarcasm font that denotes they are joking around, it’s best to not risk it on social media. 

2.) You are not responsible for what others say in a group chat. 

The group chat is a staple in the teen communication diet. They form groups of friends in group chats on text or Instagram. (Think modern-day Pink Ladies from the movie Grease.)  Just like in a live in-person conversation, we talked to our teen about the way other kids use bad language or are just plain mean in some group chats. And just like in a real life situation, she isn’t responsible for what they are saying, but she does have the option to “walk away” or in social media terms — leave the group. 

In one of the shining moments of my daughter social media life, she decided to leave one group that wasn’t a positive influence in her life. SHE decide. This is what we are going for here — our kids making these decisions for themselves. I sweated it out for a few weeks looking through the groups’ conversation but in the end, she made the decision to leave herself.

3.) If you share other people’s content — Ta-da! It’s now your content. 

The concept of sharing content by doing things like re-Tweeting, re-Vineing or reposting other’s content is a specific one to social media and may take parents a while to understand. Most social media channels give you the capacity to share other user’s content. Teach your teen that when she does this, it is the same as if she were saying it, or doing it herself. For instance, if she re-Tweets something with foul language — she is using foul language. If she shares a Vine of someone doing something that is inappropriate, then she is endorsing it.  Follow this rule up with real consequences. That will dive the point home to your teen — she shared it  = she said it =  bye-bye phone! 

4.) No screen-time is important time.

In our house there is no screen-time after 8 p.m. No phone. No computer. At first this was hard for our older kids to take, but over time I think they enjoy the relief of not being tied to communication. We know as adults that it can be exhausting to always be checking emails and social media. You will get a fight if you don’t have anything like this in place but I assure you, it is worth it! 

5.) It’s rude to not respond to texts from friends and especially from *ahem* parents who pay for your cellphone.

This one seems self-evident but every parent of a teen knows this struggle too well. You text your teen simple questions, a friendly “hi” or direction and you get a whole lotta nothing back. But you can see they seem to be posting on Instagram or texting other people or they respond only when they need something. Teaching a teen to have social media etiquette is an important lesson since this is the world they will be living in for the rest of their lives. When a friend asks about a homework assignment and she doesn’t respond it is rude. When a parent sends a text and she doesn’t respond it’s unacceptable. Remember — without our help they won’t have a phone. Use that power. 

We truly are pioneering a new way of parenting. If you sometimes feel overwhelmed or at a loss for what to do it’s understandable — parenting kids online and social media use was never modeled to us. The key is to be knowledgeable about their social media life and make the best decisions you can for their well being. You read this whole blog post so you’re doing GR8 🙂

For most parents Instagram seems simple enough to understand. Their teenagers post pictures or videos and their friends like or comment on them. Easy peasy. But there is most likely much more going on within your kid’s account. I conducted a spectacularly informal but still telling survey of parents. I  asked them this: Did you know that your teen can text to individuals and create group chats privately within Instagram? I found that 8 out of 10 did not.

Yep, I thought so. Instagram has emerged as one of the more popular ways teens communicate on their phones using a feature called Instagram Direct. It’s easy to send messages, photos and videos to individuals or groups (up to 15 people), but it’s tricky to find the message feature if you don’t know to look.

You can’t get to Instagram Direct messaging on your profile page. That would be the logical place to look.

To go to the inbox on Instagram you’ll need to go to the home page by clicking on the home icon. You will see an icon at the top right that looks like an old school inbox. If there is a new message an orange number will appear (denoting how many new messages you have). Click on that to get to the inbox.

From here, users can start group chats or reach out to individual Instagramers. (As you can see. I’m very popular with lots of messages.)

Users can “unsend” or erase individual texts within their messages. They can also delete messages or group chats with no record left behind of the conversation.

An Instagram user can send anyone a message if their account is not marked as “private,” even if they aren’t following them. So this means someone can message to your teen even if they don’t know them.

If you regularly check your kid’s text you can now add Instagram messaging to your routine. Next up … Snapchat!

Here are some more posts I’ve written about social media:

Five Thing You MUST Teach Your Teen About Social Media

10 Ways Mom Bloggers Are Different Than Traditional Journalists

How to Host A Practically Perfect Blogger Event

I’ve worked as a blogger for over seven years and I’ve watched as well-intentioned PR professionals and companies struggle to meet the needs of new media journalists. They’re not sure what to do with us or how to speak our language. “Do we seat them with the traditional press? Why are they texting on their phones during a press conference? What’s a hashtag?” seems to be common refrain.

In hopes of closing the gap a wee bit, here are some distinctions between new media and old school traditional journalists I’ll make sweeping generalizations and wild assumptions to make some points. Of course, not all of these apply to every new media journalist.

For the purposes of this list I’ll define a new media journalist as a refined and experienced bloggers, usually with more than one blog, each with an emphasis (or beat) on one subject. They may or may not be a professional (paid) blogger. Sometimes called online journalists, new media journalists use the thrilling and immediate avenues of content distribution — Twitter, Facebook, Instagr.am, Flickr, YouTube, and Google, blogs–and their content usually only appears online. This sets them apart from more traditional journalists.

Here goes:

1.) New Media journalists are a one-person show. Most write, shoot video, appear on camera, photograph, and do all the post editing of materials themselves. Some call themselves “backpack journalists” because they carry everything they need (or roller bag in my case) with them. In the new world of content distribution, the expectation is to post a story that has all the elements — reaching a reader in a format they prefer. A solid post is well written, has interesting photos and includes a video segment. All provided by the singular new media journalist.

The Three Disneyland Moms Hitting ACC to cover D23

2.) New media journalists don’t have the access to professional resources or expensive equipment. When supplying materials to the new media — like video footage — keep in mind most are editing video on their computer, so supply them with thumb drives in easily transferable formats (like .mov). I’ve had companies send me Beta tapes with b-roll. Though nostalgic and heartwarming, old formats like those are useless to a new media journalist. Same goes for stock photo accounts, lavalier mics and copy editors–they don’t have access to those things. So news providers should think to supply photos, a relatively quiet place for a video interview and forgive the occasional misplaced semicolon.

Shooting video for OC Family TV on my 7D

3.) They are part of the story. This is one of the biggest philosophical differences between new media and traditional media. It’s definitely the biggest mental shift that PR professionals need to make when thinking “new media.” The reason bloggers are successful is because readers have taken a liking to their personal view of issues or activities. So bloggers want to interact in more genuine ways with top players in a story. New media journalists have “followings” that can sniff out an inauthentic story. A good new media journalist’s highest priorities are providing  factually correct and authentic story to their readers.

Shooting interview with Guy. 

In practical terms, this means new media journalists  prefer a hands-on experience. They want to ride the Zamboni, get a photo with Mickey, or chat with the big brass of a company. They want to tell the story from the inside, narratively. It’s a fact, though my journalism professor from college would rather eat the suede patches on his corduroy sport coat than admit it, this is a real shift in the way most readers want to receive their news and information.

I played against Harlem Globetrotters at Honda Center

4.) They report in real time. Twitter, Facebook, Instagr.am, Tumblr, Google +, Flickr, YouTube all allow new media journalist to report the “real-time story” as it happens. According to Technorati, 40 % of bloggers says Smartphones have changed the way they blog. After experiencing the story, they go home and post a more formal blog entry, with nicely edited photos and sharply produced videos. Here lies the real power  punch of the new media journalist. Their superpower.

New media journalists often report several stories over an extended period of time — making their reports more dynamic, nimble and complete.

Jenelyn Russo & I write a sports blog; covering opening of Ducks event

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For instance, I recently covered the opening of Disney’s new resort in Hawaii. From the moment I got the assignment in September my report of the story began. Through social media I announced I was going to Aualni and gathered questions from readers and followers about what they wanted to know about the resort. I reported in real time the four days I was there, still answering questions and gathering information from followers and readers. By the time I boarded the plane to come home I had written three blog posts, posted two videos, and had photos up on Instagr.am and Flickr. I followed up with two additional blog posts before my print story ran in January. See what I mean? Superpower.

5.) All new media journalists are different. Having said all that, it’s best to keep in mind it’s the Wild West out there. Some new media journalists would rather drop their iPhone in the toilet than accept a swag bag, while others look at them as payment for their work. Though the concept of journalism without rules or codes of conduct is scary (and I’ve seen and read some very frightening things), it’s also exciting to be part of the new world.

A wide net has been cast. All bloggers have been lumped together, but true new media journalists will rise to the top and continue to grow and become part of the mainstream media (If PR companies don’t hire them all away before then). In an ironic twist, I see five years from now that the very things that make blogging appealing and bloggers popular will be the undoing of a lot of them. Freedom. Power. Access. Notoriety. These are fresh ingredients in the new world of journalism. A good new media journalist wields them all wisely.

One last thought on the subject of new media journalists, I don’t believe they’ll ever replace traditional journalist, specifically reporters. They are distinctively different. Though new media journalists have a place in the media, there is still a dire need and, on a personal note, thankfulness for, traditional journalists. It’s important for PR professionals, companies, government agencies and other news providers to know how to prepare and provide content to both.

Other posts from me on New Media:

Disney Was the First to Embrace Mom Bloggers

How to Host a Practically Perfect Blogger Party

Follow me on Twitter @suzbroughton

(This reunion made possible by Facebook. My old friend Christine and me.)

I don't think I've ever had such polarized emotions at once. Watching this video of Richard Blade inviting all graduates of the class of '86 from Marina High School to attend our 25-year reunion makes me a once cringe and leap with joy. It's like when saw Adam Ant in concert a few years ago, I was swept away in the nostalgia and youthful swashbuckness of it all, but was sobered and dead baffled by the old man jumping around in scarves, high boots and eyeliner.  Somethings are welcome and warm reminders of your age, somethings are not, rarely do you find something that is both.

Case  in point…

I would have jumped at the chance five years ago to find old friends who I had lost contact with over the years, but Facebook has done that work for me. I can honestly say I've "found" everyone I was interested in reconnecting with from high school–and then some. I know what they've been up to the last 25 years. I've seen the photos of their kids or dogs. I know where they had dinner last night and what really peeved them about the American Idol elimination last week. I'm good.

I have started to read a lot of photo blogs lately, especially other Daily Photo blogs. One of my favorites is Auckland Daily Photo. So, I was super happy to be given a “Blogging Best Friend” tag from Lachezar of that very blog.

I have always been fascinated by New Zealand–springing from my Split Enz/Neil Finn/Crowded House adoration (read a little about that here), then lasting due to New Zealand’s beauty–and his blog brings me a slice of that beautiful country daily. His pictures are simple and precise, truly an inspiration.

The rules of the tag are below, I have chosen the following blogs in part based on the rules, and in part because I haven’t ever linked to them before and I wanted to introduce them:

Big Hair Envy: : Her own tagline says it best “Confessions of a former spiral perm addict.” I don’t know where she is, somewhere country-ish. Where are you?

The Mental Pause Chronicles:: Serious fun and she never, ever talks about shoes, chardonnay, laundry, football,, how best to clean your kitchen…or llamas., she never talks about llamas. She kicks out the humor from this place called “Connecticut.”

Dry as toast:: My newest follower. She is a young writer living in New York. I just want to squeeze her she’s so adorable and then get all bossy every time I read her posts.

I love retro things: : After reading Amy’s blog I feel like I have just chatted with a friend. She’s also in New Zealand.

Yankee in Belgrade: : Bibi’s daily photo blog is like going to Serbia daily, without the jet lag or language barrier.

If you have the time, feel free to respond to the tag–I will still be your BBF, even if you can’t do it.
1. Only five people are allowed
2. Four have to be dedicated followers of your blog
3. One has to be someone new or recently new to your blog and live in another part of the world
4. You must link back to whoever linked to you

Being patently bossy–especially when it comes to things I know a little about–I have coaxed not one, not two…fine, four people into starting their own blogs. They are, in order:

Marcy at “The Glamorous Life.”

Andrea at “Bakers Love.”

Carrie at “Splendid Press.”

and now, Jenny at “Brain Bunnies.”

I have also given my long-winded, moderately inspired, coffee-got-cold-while-I-was-talking opinion to the following people about their already fantastic blogs:

Chris at “Dharma Bum.”

Lisa at “Lisa Mertins Life Illustrated.”

Nannette at “Girl Friday.”

To be noted: Personal “advise” has been handed out to countless bloggers in comments, direct messaging on Twitter, and via email.

My dear friend Marcy over at The Glamourous Life (read in sarcasm here over use of the word “glamourous”) is having a G.I.R.L. party on her blog. G.I.R.L as in Glamourous In Real Life.

Bloggers can join in by sending her posts that detail their domestic goofs and blunders or just send embarrassing photos. We love those. If you have a blog, this is a fun and painless way to get connected with other bloggers.

I submitted my Lessons of The Earthquake Cake. If you’ve read it, you know it hits the mark on all three of the criteria listed above.

The bonus for Marcy? All the strange and slightly questionable google searches that “Girl Party” will bring to her site.

(I begged her not to use this drawing of me cleaning my house, but I suppose she couldn’t resist.)

Thank you to the outlandishly creative Heather at Bluhm Studios who is busying herself right now with the important work of making my blog look fabulous.