Dear OC Post: Breaking Up With My Newspaper

Dear OC Post,

This is the hardest letter I have ever had to write. I am just going to come right out and say it, “It’s over.” I know this can’t come as a shock to you. We haven’t spent any time together lately.

It’s not you, it’s me. You’re great! Your formatting and writing are really special. I think you will make another Orange Countian very happy. I guess I am just a really shallow person. I want to make as little effort as possible to get my news and even then, I am only mildly interested.

You have probably figured out by now, I have been getting my news behind your back. I just couldn’t help myself. The OC Register online is so accessible to me and KFWB is so tempting with its promise “All the news, ALL THE TIME” and it gives me the “World in Twenty Minutes.” THE WORLD! How could I resist?

We will always have that charter year together. When I’d hear the mini-truck with no exhaust pipe slow at 5 am as its driver threw you as far from my doorstep as possible, my heart would leap with excitement. You remember, sitting around in the morning, my finger following along your pages as I drank my coffee. It really was everything a newsreader could ask for in a journalistic relationship.

Now, I am going to be completely honest with you, I would just pretend to read your sports section. I didn’t really enjoy it. And that Bichon puppy in the classifieds, I was simply trying to make you happy by circling it and pointing it out to friends. I never really intended to buy her. (I hear they are hard to potty-train.)

Please don’t let this stop you from becoming the paper you want to be. Keep telling yourself, “I AM ‘Cut To Fit Your Life’… I AM” Just not my life– not right now.

Your friend always,
102 Orange Street, Orange

P.S. Maybe you and my subscription to National Geographic can get a place together.