Friday Five: The Five Most Exasperating Meeting Personalities

(To see more of my Toonlets click here.)

I have attended my share of meetings.  So, I feel totally qualified to identify the “5 Most Prevalent and Exasperating Personality Types.”  Everyone fits in to some group, even if it’s just a little.

1.) The “Forever Asserting Their Own Agenda” Meeting Personality.  

This is the person who, no matter what the topic is of the meeting or the specific matter being discussed at the moment, has to insert his own agenda; whether it be a gripe, a dig at a particular person, or a blatant grab for accolades.  The “Forever Asserting Their Own Agenda” person has mastered the art of the self-serving segue: Which always leads back to their own not-so-hidden message. They try to cover their motives with sappy compliments and shameless kiss-assery.

 Phil: I think the IT team has done a fabulous job implementing our changes.

    FSOA Person: Yes, and if I had a full team instead of three part-timers, I could do my     work just as efficiently as our crack IT team. Well done, Boys!

2.) The “Put Out to Be Here” Meeting Personality.  

This is me.  There is nothing I like more than to rush into a meeting (because I’m drop dead busy an barely have the time to make it), plop myself down, dramatically sprawling my papers and accouterments all over the table. With a GIANT Starbucks in hand (because I’m drop dead busy and barely have time to sleep or get lunch) I act like the whole meeting is the most boring waste of time ever. Secretly, these people (me) are just happy to be called to a meeting at all. That someone wants their input on even the most minuscule item is a total rush–don’t let the ‘huffs and puffs,’ big exaggerated yawns, and constant checking of their iPhone fool you.

3.) The “Contrarian” Meeting Personality.  

This person is hands-down the most annoying meeting personality. They often start their flood of questions with the word “question,” like this, “Question, why do WE have to pay for any of this?” and their favorite expressions include: “Let me play devil’s advocate here,” and “Yes, but on the other side of the coin.”

Argh! These were the people in college that when they raised their hands in class, you heard an audible groan from the rest of the pupils.

4.) The “Thinks He’s Will Ferrel & Sometimes Speaks in a Bad Fake English Accent” Meeting Personality.  

From first glance, you might think this person would be the most annoying, but not so (see #3).  Even when this person breaks into a reenactment of the latest SNL skit or repeatedly uses the latest catch phrase (Yeah, Baby. Be-Bye. That’s What She Said) or decides to speak in an English, German or Canadian accent sporadically throughout the meeting, they still have their place in a meeting, if not just to give us all someone to bounce our eye rolls off of or to get us all something to drink by playing along, “Be a lovely and go fetch us all a spot of tea, Mate.” Oh, they love that and will do anything if asked in this way.

5.) The “This Meeting is Totally Justified” Meeting Personality. 

This is almost always the person who organized the meeting, but sometimes falls on the assistant of the person who called the meeting.  They constantly are reminding you they called the meeting, why they called the meeting and how happy they are that there is, thankfully, a meeting and at the end, how useful the meeting has been to everyone involved. The further the distance the attendees had to travel to get to the meeting, the stronger the personality trait.

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Other Friday Fives:

Five ways to use ’80s music to annoy your children and amuse yourself.

Five things my high school boyfriend is doing now if my mom’s predictions came true.