Holiday party survival tips (Two more dreadful party personalities)

I posted my “Holiday party survival tips” aka “The four dreadful party personalities” on my blog at The Orange County Register. So, if you missed it, you can go HERE to read it and leave a smarmy comment.

I wrote this about a month ago and now feel the need to add two more personalities you don’t EVER want to get cornered by at a party.

The instant BFF (just add wine)

Favorite topics of conversation: Nothing seems off-limits. Should she break-up with her boyfriend of seven years? Will he EVER ask her to marry him? In-depth analysis of each of her boyfriend’s friends. Why she doesn’t use OB tampons anymore.

How to handle: Dead straight honesty! Tell her EXACTLY what you think she should do. Get explicated with your own detailed, gory relationship stories. Give her a “take away” by sketching graphs and charts on a cocktail napkin. For instance “Likelihood he is cheating on you” graph or a chart of her reproductive capability over the next 15 years.

Person with distracting hair or manner

Favorite topic of conversation: This person, has no outstanding personality fault, God bless ’em. They simply have something bewildering or annoying about them that makes it impossible to concentrate on whatever it is they are saying–like a really bad toupee, big power hair, or a constant folding and unfolding of their napkin.

How to handle: Pretend you are in a scene from a Coen Brothers, Christopher Guest or Ben Stiller movie and this person one of the “quirky” characters you’re meant to embrace. Feel free to ramp up your own distracting manner and enjoy the party.