I come from a long line of quitters.
Not to make excuses, I’m just giving you a preamble for the following story. It has always been my way (and the way of most of my “folk”) to: give up, take the easy way out, throw in the towel.
If something breaks, like the remote control or a zipper, I just as soon throw the item away then attempt to fix it. Or if I open a new appliance or toy and find instructions with more than two steps, it instantly becomes “something daddy needs to put together.” I won’t even make the smallest effort to figure it out. I’m not proud of this glitch in my personality–I’m working on it.
Given this persuasion, it was baffling that I wanted to make my husband’s birthday cake. I was determined (determination: another trait not abound in my family) to make a cake from scratch. Now, just to clarify, when I say from “scratch,” I mean from a box.
I was in the middle of my pre-party freakout while I was making cake #1. I was distracted by plagues of flies in the kitchen, Palin’s updo on TV, and finding just the right music for baking a birthday cake (turns out Billy Bragg was a poor choice, better suited for grilling, I think). So, when I went to unload the first layer onto the pedestal, this is what happened.
Now, I’m no expert, but I knew this was wrong.
This is the part where the story gets perplexing. One hour before the party kicks off and I traipsed back to the market, but not to buy the easy, pre-made cake from the bakery, but to buy more mix to make another cake from “scratch.”
Why the sudden ambition? Why am I motivated now? for this? Why not to finish college? Or to (fill-in the gazillion other important things I have given up here)? No idea. Larry was as shocked as I was. “Wow, you really don’t want to give up do you?” he said with an expression I rarely get directed my way: pride.
While I began to make cake #2 I realized the carton of eggs was untouched. “EGGS! I FORGOT THE FLIPPIN’ EGGS!” This cake was going to be different. “I can do this!” I tell myself with an unfamiliar voice.
And I WAS doing it: Tristan Prettyman my new music of choice (figuring a female voice would be more encouraging), EGGS, 32 minutes in the oven, unload the layers on the pedestal (bingo), crumb layer (channeling Martha saying, “crumb layer”), final frosting, removed the protective wax paper….and this is the result.
Again, no expert…but this isn’t right either.
I called reinforcement. “Can you stop and get a cake for me?” I asked my girlfriend, Jill, with a feeling I have manage to avoid most of my life due to lack of trying: defeat.
My cake and the bakery cake sat next to each other on the counter as a testament to one of my life’s mantra “sometimes it’s better to just give up.” But, you know what? That’s the cake everyone wanted: The earthquake cake (the name they gave to that sunken cake). “I want a slice from the fault line,” smiled/laughed Larry.
Everyone agreed it was the best of the two cakes. So, I suppose the lesson of the Earthquake cake is twofold: failure can be charming if you play it off just right, and next, if you HAVE to make a cooking mistake for a dinner party better it’s on the cake than the chicken, because bad cake is still pretty good, but bad chicken can land everyone in the Emergency Room.
Missy says
That cake looks YUMMY! Good on you for not giving up … much.
Andrea says
You did great Suzanne! See. ANY cake made with love will be better than store bought. I always tell people when they have a little dessert disaster to “dust with powdered sugar or coca powder and dim the lights”
Aracely says
That cake looks totally edible! It has now induced late night junk food cravings…must resist…
Nat says
Ha ha! I like it when you make fun of yourself. Yes, Billy Bragg is WAY too rowdy for baking. Grilling IS MORE OF MANLY cooking endeavor. I am glad everyone liked your cake better.
Good read today.
Suz Broughton says
Missy, thanks for the encourement.
Andrea, sorry I used the box. Good advise.
Aracely, sorry for the temptation.
Nat, thanks.
Debs says
I’m a quitter too! I don’t think it is all bad. We don’t waste our time on things that probably won’t work out anyway…AM I RIGHT? Besides, I am always up for being cute and charming so things usually work out for me.
Funny one…Really funny.
Doug L. says
I would eat it. But I would eat the first one with no egg too. Quitters ROCK!
Plunger Girl says
LMAO.
I think we’re related.
Mental P Mama says
We must be related somehow. But I would have had the earthquake cake, too. Yummy!
Lisa Baer-Schoeneberger says
Suzanne,
You didn’t quit, and that’s important! You persevered, and sure, it wasn’t perfect, but it was made with love, and love covers many faults and shortcomings. You and I are both wives and mothers…what do you think our husbands and children will judge us by in the end? Not by how white their tube socks were, or how often the tops of the closet shelves were dusted, but by how much they were loved by you!
I bet that cake tasted great!
Lisa
Carrie says
I was reading this while waiting for my son at the orthodontist, I was laughing out loud, everyone was looking and I so wanted to let them see your story, it is great! We have all done this, and I am so pleased to see that you ate the second one, which even though the presentation was not what you were working for it looked like it tasted GREAT! You are my hero, great job!
MommyTime says
That’s awesome! Decades ago, right after Mt. St. Helens erupted, my aunt had a disaster cake, and she chose to decorate like the volcano since it already had a crater. She sprinkled poppy seeds on the icing, made a river of lava out of cooked blueberries, and strung toothpicks with little warning signs. It was a huge hit. An easier fix would be what my mother always told us when our crackers broke before we got them to our mouths: they taste just the same whole or in pieces. Your cake looks delicious! Good for you for sticking to it.
vicki grobels says
OOOOOO your poor cake – bet it was still very yummy!
Shelly P says
Ha ha! That’s true, bad cake is still good cake and a bad chicken is really really bad news. So funny.
Meg says
For some reason I am recalling your Vimeo about the Safeway and wondering which aisle in the grocery store do the boxed cake mixes come from and do you think they have it in the correct aisle??? 🙂
I think it’s a cute cake and really, once the forkful hits the mouth, isn’t it all the same difference?
MomZombie says
Greetings from another baking-school dropout. For some reason, I love to cook but HATE baking. I’ve had so many bad outcomes it’s like a joke around my house. Everyone knows I head to the bakery when dessert is on the menu.
Annie says
You really pulled that one off. I would dive into that cake over the store cake every time. And I define a “scratch” cake the same way. Any combination of chocolate and vanilla is irresistible to me.
You oughtta be a spin doctor! Earthquake cake. Great kick save!
Amy says
LOL That’s classic and yep it’s looking like a delicious cake!
foolery says
Good save. And yes, I’d eat your cake EVERY TIME, and come back for seconds. Also? If it makes you feel any better, I wrote up a story months ago called the World’s Most Expensive Pound Cake, I think, about My Brother The Chef’s perceived failures and final redemption with three cakes in one night. Always makes me feel better.
Candid Carrie says
OH MY GOSH … “the fault line” … that is good! I’ve got a great recipe that will now be called “earthquake lasagne” Thanks for the belly laugh!
Sweet Mummy says
I have made a few ‘earthquake’ dishes myself. This one is a good one! The cake still looked yummy. My sweetie would have said, “It’s all going to the same place anyway!”
Candid Carrie says
Hey you … just digging around at Boudica 😉
phyllis says
A love story! Cute 🙂
kate says
The cake must have tasted great because there wasn’t much left of it. Your husband must have loved that you persevered to make a cake for his birthday. (I’m a quitter too ~ it’s just good to know when something is worth pursuing.)
I love your blog banner ~ it looks great! Go Ducks Go ~ I’ll cheer them on as long as they aren’t playing the Canadiens!!)
Kayce says
You should flip the cake onto a cake board you can find them in a local grocery store. then just ice right on the board then, stick the cake right onto the pedestal… mind you removing wake paper like that will never work as you prob know from trying it just pulls the cake apart. Ive been baking now for 10 years and you seem to be a lot more patient then me lol. I would have thrown the cake away and tried again… it reminds me of an earthquake cake. Im glad it tasted good and better luck next time
סדנאות שוקולד says
The catalogs I have seen isolated envelope that one is supposed to fix around the outside of the round cake pans before baking, which is supposed to prevent the effects teepee. I think the idea is to slow cook the outer edges.
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