I’m Sure I Don’t Know What The NYTs Is Talking About

I found this in the New York Times’ Humor Section. I am sure I don’t know what they are talking about.
I mean, just yesterday, while I was going to order my ham for Christmas at Pacific Ranch, which has the best wine selection in Orange County, ask for Phil, he really knows what he is talking about, and the fruits there are fantastic. Have you tried a Grapple? It is an apple and a grape mixed….