To cut a long story short I’ve lost my mind

I’ve decided to do something I will instantly regret as soon as post this; I’m going to title each post for the next month with either the name of a song or lyrics. Well, maybe not exactly the name, but some variation.
There is absolutely no point in doing this, just thought I would make things interesting. Morrissey alone can probably supply an entire year’s worth.
You can guess who they belong to (Keli, this one is all yours!) or you can make better suggestions. For instance this one could have also been called, “Mystery Achievement.”

“To cut a long story short” by Spandau Ballet