The Crashing Bore
Favorite topics of conversation: Possible deadly reaction of buffet food to their medication. The "freaky" dream they had last night. How cool they were in high school.
How to handle: Play interested. To everything shake your head and say "that's interesting." (Note: This only works if your spouse knows that when you say something is interesting, it means you think it's not interesting.)
The Arrogant Real Estate Related Professional
Favorite topics of conversation: Their weekend at "the River." How much they bought their house for in 1998. Wine.
How to handle: Play dumb. Act as if you haven't ever heard of anything they are talking about.
"What river?" "Where is Villa Park?" "Is that a type of alcoholic beverage?"
The Salesman
Favorite topic of conversation: How much money you could be making selling (fill in blank here). How much money they made last year. How much money do you want to make?
How to handle: Say you and your spouse have more money than you could possible manage already. "We are loaded. My husband makes so much money, I wouldn't know what to do with any more." Then blow your nose in a twenty dollar bill and throw it on the ground, just to drive the point home.
Minute-Detail Talker
Favorite topic of conversation: The difference between French goat cheese (or chèvre) and domestic sheep cheese. The thread count of the napkins and why I should care. How she wanted to bring her New Graphic Op Art Large Sabrina bag by Coach but was afraid the bold pattern would throw off her Dolce & Gabbana Satin Psychedelic Dress she got at….
How to handle: Ask the waiter if they serve Mountain Dew, when they don't storm off and go sit at another table.
Recent party story: (read THAT story here),
LOL. They must be transplants from here.
damn it, what do you have against kool and the gang!?
as far as party personalities go, i’m definitely the charming drinker.
Sadly, the minute detail person is coming to my child’s 5th birthday party on Sunday. She will have a lot of tips for me, I’m sure…
AWWW those wedding photos are so pretty! I hate dinner parties like that, I usually make an appearance with my dh for an hour or so then pretend we double booked ourselves and quietly leave.
I still like Kool & the Gang. What does that say about MY party personality??? Heehee!
It’s comforting to know that the “Arrogant Real Estate Related Professional” is not just an east coast phenomenon. If I hear someone brag once more about their “river house”, or about how they saw the market swing and bought their million dollar first home JUST before the neighborhood got too pricey, I will just SCREAM!
Boy, aren’t you a spaz in that video? Larry WAS nice to be so understanding.
I know the Arrogant Real Estate Related Professional, he’s my brother in law. They like to talk about cigars and custom garages, too. You forgot that.
Hahaha…That’s a rad hat you had on.
I can not get over the wedding photo of you two.
SO much envy running thru my veins. Okay it is offical. I hate you. In a sorta I-totally-love-you-way….
🙂
I’ve been to parties where I wanted to go home that bad! Ha ha ha. My husband wouldn’t have been so nice about me freaking out like that though.
Okay, the minute-detail talker, I know so many women like that. It drives me crazy! Ordering Mountain Dew. I am for sure going to try that next time. But, no the blowing my nose in a $20, gross!
I avoid social gatherings of all kinds. Problem solved.
But I do like to talk about Cigars. To myself.
ugh. I know those types. I don’t get to go to many parties, but when I do, oh, these folks are a d-r-a-g. By the way, I looked at your anniversary post, and you were a gorgeous gorgeous bride.
Gotta try that $20 bill sneeze schtick. Love it.
Oh, really good post, with your right-on perceptions….and I love the addition of the GWTW clip! Cute! Hey…..we might get along…..I actually have more than 12 cats (outdoors, thankfully) and do more listening than talking. One learns more that way! Thanks for showing up on my blog……that led me to your blog!
girl – u r a riot (oops – i’m using my text type – ugh oh well)
i was laughing and laughing – jeff looks up at me and says “suzanne’s blog?”
“yep” i say – she cracks me up (does anyone say that anymore?)
OMG!!! I DID A SPIT TAKE on the movie clip…um I mean the clip of you and Larry at the party. Sooooooo funny and blowing your nose in a $20 bill that will detract more than just the Salesman!
Great Blog! I’m a fan!
I want to party with you! I would like to see all of these techniques in action. Especially the blowing your nose in a twenty. Where is Villa Park? Hahahahaha
F****** Hilarious!!!!! How are you not writing for SNL or something? I just about got fired from my job I was laughing so hard at the Youtube clip. If I do, I’ll be your personal assistant.