(Me and my mom. Look at me with the Ambrosia Salad? What a poser.)
We look like normal, grown women. We have jobs and pay property taxes. We swoon at Anthropologie, are secretly in love with Jason Mraz and have kids and husbands; all the outside appearances of being totally functional.
But we have a secret: We’ve never prepared a holiday feast. We’ve never cooked the bird, stuffed it with dressing or prepared gravy from its drippings. That IS what gravy is made of, right? We wouldn’t know what to do with a yam or a chalet; in fact, we would be hard pressed to point one out in the produce section of Pavillions.
I’m not going to pretend anymore. I know all you gals who slave the day before Thanksgiving and Christmas know I’m not pulling my weight: My mom and dad still makes it all! They make the big stuff–Turkey, potatoes, stuffing– at their house, pack it in their car and bring it to mine. We host both holidays every year, so I scrub the bathroom sinks, empty boxes of Wheat Thins onto a cheesed-up platter and put out the plates, but I have never prepared the heavy weights.
The day before Thanksgiving you could have spotted me at the market stressing out, just like the other women. But they were panicked, clutching their neatly organized list, because they were out of fresh cranberries for their traditional sauce, while I was standing in Aisle 5 annoyed and saying (out loud) “What? Frick! They’re out of Bugles!”
I know I’m not the only one either, I was confessing to my friend Lynne at the Ducks game on Wednesday night and she said, “Oh, I’ve never prepared anything either.” She told me her mom asked her to make the potatoes this year but it occurred to her that her mom actually wanted her to BRING the potatoes. “I mean, I’m perfectly capable of buying a bag of potatoes,” she explained, but after a frantic call to her mom, she was assured she already had potatoes and just wanted Lynne to mash them. **whew**
So I gained some courage to come right out and say it after realizing I would have the support of other women living with the same shame: Hi, I’m Suzanne Broughton and I’ve successfully dodged preparing holiday meals my whole life…but I will drive around to four markets until I find Bugles.
*****
If you are just dying to know what Thanksgiving is like at my house, take a look at my Whrrl Story below:
Click anywhere on the box to see the story.
Can I come there next year?
That was a pretty heavy duty confession! For such a beautiful, successful, all-American woman, especially!
But I think it’s wonderful that your parents enjoy it all so much that they do it every year, and that they are healthy and up to it.
I’m glad you had a good one.
PS-You and your mom look fabulous!
Love this Suz…but I do cook, with the help of my Mom, Husband and Aunt…it is a collective effort. I think no ONE person should ever do it all…that includes the dishes. 🙂
You are so totally awesome!!!! I love it! If you can pull it off…do it!!!
I love the cooking part. Then I actually get to EAT exactly what I want!
Just what I needed…a post from Suz. 🙂 Love the Whrrl story too.
I have never done it either! My mom or my husband’s mom do it every year. And his mom does not want to relinquish it! Works for me!
I think you have plenty of food there already. Why do it twice? My logic is probably too rational here…
Ahhh, I love your honesty! Thanks for sharing your photos of your Thanksgiving, I felt like I was there!
Ha ha. Love the post. Thank you. I needed this. Your confession. There are so many of us out there!!! Woo hoo. I not only have I never prepared a holiday meal, I have never cooked anything! Ever. My hubby does all the cooking (thankf goodness) and his mom and grandma cook on the holidays. Relief. 😀
I do, however, love to decorate the house, set the table, take a gazillion pictutes and document it all in dozen of scrapbooks and journals! 😀
You are not alone. I don’t do Thanksgiving either. My mom and mother in law still do it all. Terrible, right? The one time I did attempt Thanksgiving my mom came over and basically commandeered my kitchen. She did everything and I just stood back, happy that she was. I really need to get my act together. I’m getting old.
Love this post! My oven has never seen a turkey. Thus, me travels to be thankful!
You may not cook Thanksgiving dinner girls, but you sure can write. I loved the story and the pictures. Can’t wait until I can do something like this. You’re so smart. Love ya, LoRee
Well, I’ve been doing Thanksgiving for about 7 years now, and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. You stick the turkey in the oven for 4 hours, do a little set decoration, make some mashies, stuffing from a box, green bean cassarole, open the pie box from Marie Calendars…voila! In between all that, you drink a glass or five of wine. Great party! 🙂 The only thing I can’t make to save my life is gravy. My MIL does it every year and my mom does the carving of the turkey. Other than that, I do all the cooking. It’s fun! But, the trade off is my house is very plain – I can’t decorate myself out of a paper bag!
That’s too good! =) I don’t cook/prepare anything, either!!! My husband cooks for me and if not him, whoever is hosting.
I confess to the same… But luckily for me, every year there is a different excuse. I’m an exoat in Africa, so most Christmases are spent visiting the relatives in South Africa or Canada – and hey, we’re guests!!! So no duties…
Other times we go on a tropical vacation, completely avoiding the XMas dinner thing altogether.
However – THIS YEAR – we are staying in Ghana and I have no excuse, no fall back. I MIGHT have to make the proper Christmas dinner!
BUT – hey there’s no turkey to be bought here, nor big hams.. so we might go for Chinese.
SAD.
LOVE your blog – just found it. I’ll be back!!!!
Cheers
Holli in Ghana
You’re my kinda girl, Suz!