Friday Five: 5 Ways To Know For Sure You’re A Dog Lover

This is George. Doesn’t he look like he wants a baby brother (see #3)

This week’s Friday Five is dedicated to all the dog lovers out there.

1.) You greet every new dog you see on the street with a friendly “Hello dog!” Yet, it never crosses your mind to say hello to the person walking the dog.

2.) You believe your dog has impeccable instincts when it comes to a person’s character and instantly and irreversibly don’t like anyone your dog doesn’t like.

3.) In your never ending campaign for a second dog you insert every mention of it into your conversations with your husband. For instance, “Wouldn’t a second dog love this movie?” Or another — albeit, more risky — tack is to mention how much you want another baby and then quickly downgrade to just another dog is okay, too.

4.) You don’t miss an opportunity to talk for your dog to other people, especially in a passive aggressive tone or to get them to do what you want them to do: “George says he’d love to go for walk right now but he has nothing to wear because you didn’t do the laundry” or “George says he’s really sorry for getting into the garbage but if he had another dog to play with he wouldn’t do such a thing! (see #3)” or “George says he thinks YOU should go lay down in YOUR bed.”

5.) You roll down your car window and chat with dogs who have their heads out the window. You do this not just to embarrass your children but you truly want to know if they are having a fun time in the car.

Other Friday Fives:

Five of the most troublesome crowd walkers identified

Five ways to know you’re late for your own funeral

Five men who have my permission to wear a tank top (no others are allowed. period. except when painting the house)