I’m eight years into this parenting thing which is far enough along to develop a few…” tricks let’s call them, no “tools”…to help me get through the monotony, squimishes and repetitiveness that come with your mommy badge.
I think every mom has them, they are like little idiosyncratic things we moms do to keep ourselves from …. or help calm our nerves after answering the same question 45 times, or keep us from …. Kind of like inside jokes, really inside, like to yourself.
Because I am an eighties music connoisseur, or “geek” as some people might see it, mine revolves around lyrics from all the songs I used to enjoy long before I knew what a Diaper Genie was or could recite the book “Red Fish Blue Fish” by heart or catch a stray spitwad with my bare hands before it hit an innocent bystander–prekid.
The most gratifying thing about this tactic is the first 5 or 6 years of a kid’s life they have no idea what you’re talking about and then they hear the song on the radio. “Mom! That’s where you got that!” So initially, it just is annoying to them, then it becomes part of your family folklore.
Here’s an example of some of my most common lyrics used:
“Listen Mister, you’re living in your own private Idaho if you think you’re getting a special treat now!”
“Frankly Mr. Shankly, I don’t care what your friends are doing, you’re not going.”
“Freeze Fame! Stop right there!”
“You can … if you want to you can leave your friends behind, cause if your friends don’t”
Looking at my grocery list “Look your kiss is on my list!”
“I don’t know the answer to that question, if I knew I would tell you.”
Originally published Aug 4, 2009
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