I’m not a fan of the show The Real Housewives of Orange County which is in its fourth season on Bravo. Now, being a Real Housewife of Orange County you would think I would be eagerly watching every week to see what “we” are up to, but I can’t stomach their horrific advice they give their kids, their inane banter, and heel heels heels…all those high heels.
It’s not that I think they misrepresent Orange County Housewives. I know plenty of gals just like them.
My girlfriends and I are a different breed of Orange County Housewife; sometimes unkempt and unpowdered, with younger kids and nicer husbands.
Here are some scenes and excerpts from OUR “Housewives (HW) of Orange County”:
–HW hastily throws Michael’s receipt out the window of speeding SUV before her husband finds out she spent $75 on ribbon.
–HW talking crossly to fellow HW about where to take the kids for the day, “If we go to Fashion Island, there is the carousal, the koi pond, the train and we can eat at Red Robin for lunch.” Other HW shoots back, “Yes, but if we go to The Spectrum, there is the ferris wheel, the carousel, the train and we can eat lunch at Red Robin.” This is what we call an “OC Housewife Standoff.” (It really makes absolutely no difference who wins.)
–HW scolding herself in her mind as she is stuck in traffic, “I knew I shouldn’t have taken the 55, now I’ll never make “pick up.”
–HW thinks to herself, “If the cashier at Trader Joe’s calls me Ma’am one more time, I’m going to key his Ford Bronco.”
–HW frantically talking to her husband as he speeds home on a Friday night, “Hurry, if we don’t get to Wasa by 6:00, we’re screwed.”
–HW shrikes in horror upon hearing the tuition of “Lu” High.
–HW wakes in a fit of panic and screams as she realizes, “Oh no, our Disneyland Deluxe Annual Passports expired yesterday!”
–HW overheard complaining to fellow HW in school parking lot, “If I have to tell my husband one more time that going to the dentist is not “me time,” I am going to throw him in our new Pebble Tec pool with cascading waterfall.”
–One HW asks another HW over a Cafe Vanilla at The Bean, “Exactly WHERE is Cota de Casa?”
(Me, Jill, Jana, Vicki and Ericka…no wait, that’s not right…)
(Right, good, here we are, Vicki, me, Jill, Jana and Ericka at the The ArtBar …much better.)
This is a re-post of something I wrote last year. I’m on a trip up the coast of California. Talk to you on Monday, Suz
fancy feet says
I loved this especially about how going to the dentist is not me time.
Great, as always!
Suz says
You guys are much cuter, funnier and REAL. I do watch that show, but only to make myself feel better about my wonderful life!!!
have a great weekend, suz
Mental P Mama says
Ya’ll are so much cuter. I cannot stand those housewives. Especially the NYC ones. They scare me.
Amy says
I”m sorry but I couldn’t live like that, I’d rather be like you guys…
chrome3d says
I think nobody wants to see an exaggerated version of herself. I wouldn´t want to see a series about computer geeks bitching about others choice of software etc. Luckily there is no such thing in TV and there will never be.
chrome3d says
So what kind of shoes you are actually wearing? Not high heels I suppose.
Jason says
I think I really like the real Real Housewives.
Julie @ Angry Julie Monday says
OMG too funny! I agree with every one of those statements!
xoxo, K says
loved this! maybe i’ll email this off to bravo & they can hit YOU guys up for a show! have a great trip!
Predo says
I loved this one! And by the way, you all are far more beautiful then those actresses will ever be! HOT!!!!!!
Stephanie says
How come you all don’t stick your chests out? All the OC housewives don’t do that? TV has ruined me.
You girls (who are real) look lovely and fun (and smokin’ hot!)
Aracely says
Love this post- by the way you all are much hotter!!
Big Hair Envy says
Ok, I’ll admit it right now, I DO watch “The Housewives”….they actually make me feel more normal!!!! All of that drama is EXHAUSTING!!!
Suz, I thought it was really cool when I “met” an actual OC Housewife through Blogger. Those big boobed, botoxed actresses need to visit you and your cute girlfriends for a reality check. Maybe you could take them rollerskating?? Heehee!!
As always, thanks for keepin’ it REAL:)
Baby Favorite says
I like you WAY better.
Jen says
Hands down, you all are WAY more gorgeous!!!!
Curt McCormick says
I can see why you’re not expecially fond of that show, it exaggerates life in the OC. Being from rural Pennsylvania, I feel the very same way about the Beverly Hillbillies.
Jennifer says
You lovely ladies are far more real than the other “real” gals. I watch the show because I like watching the train wreck. I cringe however when I think of it being exported around the world. Like we need more of that image out there.
Paige says
Very funny post! I like your idea of what us “real housewives” are like, although I would like someone to do my laundry, that would definitly be in my contract.
Twenty Four At Heart says
Hope you have a good trip. I’ve written posts about this too. Unfortunately, I live right in the thick of the (TV) real housewives. Still, I watch them with abject horror.
Elaina Avalos says
You know what I’ve always wondered about the “real” housewives of Orange County though . . . how do they stand upright? I mean, with all that silicone injected into their chests, it seems as though they might be so top heavy they can’t stand straight up. Weebles wobble…
Hippo Brigade says
I totally agree. Especially about the spectrum/ fashion island toss up. But Spectrum mostly always wins because of its inclusion of Target.
Maria Hammon says
I loved this post! Too funny! And yes, the real life HW are way better looking than those TV fake ones, LOL
LMN says
That is hilarious – I love the chucking the ribbon receipt out the window. 🙂 Very cute picture, by the way. I’ve only seen that OC Housewives show (twice) with my sister – and I could hardly stomach it! It’s like watching a train wreck – some of the kids on that show are so MEAN it is unbelievable!!
Anonymous says
You guys are WAY hotter than those “women” on TV, way hotter.