Alleged Affront: Using a staw.
His explanation: You never saw John Wayne use a straw, did you?
Alleged Affront: Walking a dog who is wearing a sweater.
His explanation: Is self-explanatory.
Alleged Affront: Checking Luggage.
His Explanation: Baggage Claim is for amateurs.
Alleged Affront: Shampoo and then condition.
His explanation: Why do in two steps what you can do it one.
Alleged Affront: Suggesting 4-year-old son dress as “Robin” for Halloween.
His explaination: There will be no sidekicks in his family.
Alleged Affront: Being issued a Disney credit card with Bambi on it.
His explanation: Mickey is the only acceptable character.
Alleged Affront: Taking a pain killer when in pain.
His explanation: No time. (huh?)
Alleged Affront: Attempting to talk about hilarity of old boyfriend’s letter found in box in closet whilst he is watching UFC Championships.
His explanation: Too many affronts to explain.
Things I would think would be an affront to his masculinity, which apparently are not:
Watching Jane Austen’s “Emma” staring Gwyneth Paltrow (suspect it has something to do with Gwyneth’s beautiful neck).
I refuse to baggage claim too. It’s a guy thing. I do use a straw…that’s all your husband’s deal.