Five Snail Jokes

Five Snail Jokes
(these are from my private reserve. Must be told in this order)

1) A farmer hears a knock at his door late one winter’s night. He opens his door, looks around and looks down and there, at his doorstep, is a snail. The snail says, “Can I come in, I’m really coooooold?” The Farmer says, “No, get outta here you stupid snail,” and kicks him across the garden. Spring comes, then summer then fall and before you know it, it’s winter again. The farmer hears a knock on his door. He opens the door, looks around and looks down and there on his doorstep is that snail, who says, “What did you do that for?”

2.) A snail walks into a bank to make a deposit. Then a turtle comes in and robs the bank. Afterward, the police are interviewing the snail and asks him to recount what had happened. The snail says, “I don’t know, it all happened so fast.”

3.) A snail goes to a used car lot to buy a car. The sales person asks, “What are you looking for in a car?” The snail says, “I want a really fast car with big side doors so I can write a huge “S” on each door.” The salesman says, “That’s a weird request, why?” The snail says, “Because when I drive through town I want people to say, “Look at that S-Car-Go.”

4) What does a snail say when he’s riding on a turtle’s back? …. Weeeeeeee

This is my six-year old daughter’s joke she made up today

5.) I take my new friend snail home with me and I get to the front of my house and he say, “That is a big house. I wouldn’t want to carry that on my back.”

Tugboat Printshop, Snail, Woodcut Print