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Five Ways You Know You Are Really, Really Late For Your Own Funeral

October 31, 2008 By: Suzanne Moshenko10 Comments

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1) Your children, who are now fully-grown, cut you off in the parking lot with the Escalades they bought with their inheritance.

2) You unknowingly complement your husband’s new wife on her shoes.

3) Reading your eulogy, your brother keeps referring to you crossly as his “late, very, very late, beloved sister.”

4) The pew you are sitting in is dedicated “in memory of” you.

5) When you go to sign your guest book, your fingers shatter into a million pieces.

Happy Halloween!

Vintagehalloween

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Comments

  1. 1

    Doug L. says

    October 31, 2008 at 8:02 am

    You seem so sweet, but this proves you are truly demented deep inside. Which is awesome! Happy halloween.

  2. 2

    Big Hair Envy says

    October 31, 2008 at 8:21 am

    Happy Halloween! I want to fly out to CA and roller skate with you. TODAY!

  3. 3

    Suz says

    October 31, 2008 at 8:50 am

    Very cute and a bit creepy. I like!!!

  4. 4

    Nat says

    October 31, 2008 at 9:25 am

    You’ve got something seriously wrong with you. Really really WRONG! Keep up the good, I mean bad, work.

  5. 5

    karen says

    October 31, 2008 at 11:50 am

    I can really, really relate to that !!! Toooo funny 🙂

  6. 6

    Mental P Mama says

    October 31, 2008 at 1:49 pm

    That might be a little too true for some people I know….

  7. 7

    chrome3d says

    October 31, 2008 at 9:40 pm

    How does a finger shatter to millions of pieces. I´m left to imagine what that is.

  8. 8

    Grant Forest says

    October 31, 2008 at 10:10 pm

    This was linked all through Twitter today. Very good. Hope you had a good halloween and weren’t late once. hahahahaha

  9. 9

    fancy feet says

    November 1, 2008 at 10:01 pm

    Awesome!

  10. 10

    wrekehavoc says

    November 2, 2008 at 8:07 am

    heh. love it!

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