“Fun Money” and other concepts lost on my Husband

Concepts Lost On My Husband:

Fun Money
The concept: money that was not expected can be splurged without guilt or responsibility.
His take: Money is money.

Accessories for dogs
The concept: dogs have the need and right to be accessorized with diamonds, sweaters and $65 leashes.
His take: It’s a Friggin’ dog.

The Rule of Calorie Transference
The concept: If I don’t purchase french fries with my meal and eat them off his plate, they are calorie-free.
His take: Get your own.

Decorative Pillows
The concept: They pull the room together.
His Take: Worthless, time-consuming, fluff.

Laura Ashley Nightgowns
The concept: You think you look like Elizabeth Bennet.
His take: He thinks you look like Elizabeth Bennet.