Ways I wish 70’s TV shows were different
1) I wish, just once, the cone of silence would have worked.
2) I wish Mary Tyler Moore didn’t wear so much concealer.
3) I wish Mrs. Kravitz would have stopped being such a butinsky and paid more attention to her loveless marriage.
4) I wish “Half Pint” would have pulled Nellie’s stupid braids out of her stuck-up head.
5) I wish Donny were a little bit sarcastic and Marie were a little Goth.
6) I wish the Flying Nun would have used her special skill to do some good in the world, like work for the Coast Guard or something.
7) I wish Laverne wouldn’t have put her glove on that beer bottle. It always worried me that it would get stuck in the equipment and hurt someone.
8) I wish Richard Dawson wouldn’t have found family dysfunction so amusing.
9) I wish Berretta’s bird’s name was Magnum, instead of Fred, and he had a dog named Revolver, I think that would have been clever.
10) I wish the Hardy Boys didn’t have such a sexually suggestive last name which prompted endless teasing from my brothers.
Moore didn’t wear so much concealer.
3) I wish Mrs. Kravitz would have stopped being such a butinsky