“I Might Be Old But I’m Someone New”

Here it is– my 40th birthday. I knew it was coming. I braced myself for its swift arrival, and now, it isn’t so bad. I don’t feel any different then I did yesterday morning.

Here is a list of good things about being 40 years old:

1.) Everything you liked about your teenage years is now considered “retro” and you can relive it again at a Las Vegas show or at any “Justice” store.

2.) The lead singer of that band you loved in High School would probably date you now.

3.) You can officially start to lie about your age.

4.) The next big age marker is ten years away (50 years old). So, you don’t have to go through the trauma of everyone asking you, “So when is the big 5- 0?” for another nine years.

5.) At forty, you can admit that you are cold. From the age 17 through 35 you would wear things that were less then climate appropriate to show off your (umm) best features. Now, breakout the turtlenecks, you’ve been freezing since 10th grade.

6.) You can now justify spending $100 on night cream.

7.) Your immaturity is now thought of as “youthful” and “refreshing’ instead of “irresponsible” and “annoying.” Yeah!

8.) Most of your friends have now known you long enough to tell if you are having a bad day by just one “hello” on the telephone.

9.) The stupid things you did in your youth are now at a safe enough distance away to tell your parents about without any fear of disciplinary action. You’ll just get the standard, “I’m glad I didn’t know about that,” or the thinly veiled threat, “Just wait until your kids are teenagers.”

10.) You can afford to “Fall into the Gap” and buy anything you want. (Unfortunately, you hate the way the Gap’s clothes fit your “new” body shape.)

I am sure there are more, but I can’t think of any right now. I have decided to be positive about this nonsense.

One of my favorite lyrics of a Neil Finn songs says, “I might be old but, I’m someone new.” I like that. I am going with that.